NOT LEARNING TO DANCE HAS RUINED SOCIETY.

SOCIAL GRACES, ETIQUETTE, AND HOW WE ALL SHOULD STRIVE FOR EXEMPLARY LOCOMOTION.

so ive been thinking. what the fuck is wrong with everyone? the other night a friend and i were discussing their boss and bosses boss etc. and how though very capable at the technicalities of running her company these people are one hundred percent socially inept. and not just amongst strangers but in dealing with their co-workers, delegation of duties, all basic human interaction. no clue.
awkward, borderline rude, and terrible communication skills. wtf? how do you get so far in life and become so successful without learning to schmooze? as someone who would have nothing if it werent for knowing how to work a room this lack of a need for charm is perplexing. i also think it is unacceptable. we need to get back to a place where the ability to tactfully and skillfully interact with others is not only valued but expected. a time where if you acted a fool and showed up to a restaurant under dressed you would feel shamed by your peers and not only rectify the situation but never let it happen again.

all right losers, watch and learn.

as it turns out right here in our own little back yard professors at mit, yes mit, looked around and noticed that their students were lacking in the social graces and decided to start a charm school. there is a deportment class (look it up) which set out to rid the students of what was deemed the 'institute shuffle' that unsightly hunched over gait that is typically reserved for super tall 13 year old girls and the horribly awkward. (unrelated side note- those 5'11" middle school girls should stand tall, if you play your cards right you could be plucked from your podunk town mall by a sleazy talent scout and become the next kate moss.) other classes include 'buttering up big shots', 'flirting 101', and this gem, 'how to tell somebody something they would rather not hear'. now if there is one thing a socially awkward evil genius knows how to do it is to tell somebody something they absolutely do not want nor probably need to hear. its remarkable actually and ive personally seen it in action many times. your having a cocktail party so you invite some coworkers and the programmer or tech guy or fill in the blank shows up and within five minutes has completely dominated the conversation and asked your girlfriend what is wrong with her face. i imagine the purpose of this class is more to teach the methods of delivering unpleasant information tactfully and with appropriate timing. of course.

i say you go mit, i run past that campus weekly and its a sad state of affairs over there. these people are going to/already do run the world and it would be great if when the world is ending because the robots they invented are going to eat us and live out eternity in our apartments they could deliver the news in an appropriate and pleasing manner. and while wearing a well cut suit. 

all right losers, watch and learn.

what i am trying to say is that in all occupations you find it. not just the afore mentioned science and math fields. in fashion, restaurants, finance, your local coffee shop, basically everywhere people have lost the abilities of general social etiquette and i think we would all benefit from going to charm school for a couple of weeks or six months. there is a series of ebooks i like called 'britiquette'. i think the name says it all but if not they refer to themselves as 'the slightly rude but much needed guide to good manners'. you can kick it old school and just visit the emily post website (emilypost.com) where her etiquette books are in their 18th editions. homegirl got started in the twenties. these are both supremely feminine and if i were a guy would turn away immediately and since i think the future gentlemen of our society are in some dire straights i found an excellent introductory book for the fellow interested in learning how to kick it proper but not trying to go over board. it is 'how to be a gentleman: a contemporary guide to common courtesy" by john bridges. written by a guy and taking courtesies of the fifties and sixties but modernizing them for todays societal situations.

another excellent resource which is simple, elegant, and old school is esquire magazine. i think men and women alike would do themselves a favor by getting a subscription. they publish a style handbook twice a year which can be an indispensable tool for men who like to wear clothes and look better than their friends while doing it. it also consistently has advice about etiquette, amazing products, and is slick and pretty. what more could you ask for.

you could ask for more but sadly alberto vargas is dead.

hopefully this post made you laugh a bit but i couldnt be more serious about how detrimental i feel the general lack of social ability is to our society. its crippling us in the way of communication (i refuse to blame emails and texting, that just fuels the fire) and it makes us look like shit. you dont want to look like shit do you? of course not. now go learn how to dance.